::Such A Stupid Stupid Kid::

We all did some idiotic things in our past that may tell a funny story today, so why don't we tell them? Well, most of the time they're embarrassing...but, you have to admit, it's much more fun to share and laugh at each other together...so share yours too, as many or as less as you want.

I got my arm stuck in a pool table
...my leg caught in a chair.
I broke my thumb on April Fools 2004 and the school nurses and my mom didn't believe me.
I mixed a coffee for some kid that threw a cat in the lake at this party...the coffee contained coffee, sugar, expired milk, chocolate sauce, a shit load of hot sauce, ketchup, mustard, mayo, salt&pepper, ranch dressing, water, cheese...basically everything I found in that kitchen.
I spread rumors about myself that I was a hard-core drug addict, that I was a devil worshiper, that I was gay, that I was suicidal, and that I had voices in my head that told me to do things (which is partly true because it's my conscious). Seriously, the best way to have rumors about you is to spread them yourself, it's funnier that way.
Out of all my school years I only got two detentions...one for walking out the wrong doors...and one for drawing on my notes. But, they never got me for fights, for being high at school, or for smoking cigarettes while walking to class.
I was a pretty stupid kid, and all that is not even the half of it.

I closed a car window on three of my fingers. It was the borderless car door so the window did not break my fingers when they got stuck.

I nearly fell into really cold water in October while docking a boat. I grabbed a line and proceeded to put some of my weight on it... the line started going down near the water and now I was parallel with the water and my feet were on the boat with my hands on the line. I got out of that when my father jerked my pants back and I stood up. That was funny as hell to watch.

I was making a pizza in the oven and when it was done I went to get it out without oven mits because I didn't think it would be hot.

I lit my rug on fire because I accidentally spilled nail polish remover on a burning candle.

Then I got stuck behind my dresser because I wanted to see if I could fit.

And then there's that one time I put suction cupz all over my face, they got stuck and I had red a purple marks on my face for weeks.

aahh.... those were the days :]

At the end of 8th grade, some friends and I were burning books at a park for no apparent reason. My genious friend decided to throw a can of Axe in there. Around five minutes later, I went to feed the fire, and it explodecd. Right in my face. It hurt terribly.

My gay friend James and I always did crazy shit, too. We used to take Jesus figurines from people's yards, and put them in others' yeards. We always got caught.

Left a cake in the oven and went to the beach at midnight with my Friend James.

God, I did so many stupid things, and still do. I'm too outgoing, but I love it. It makes everything all the more interesting.

I left my truck windows open overnight during a really bad rainstorm... stupidest HAD to be Roman candle wars, and firecracker wars. And maybe jumping off roofs into bushes..

I tried to make my brother sneeze with some pepper when he was sleeping. Unfortunately I couldn't find any black pepper, so I sprinkled red pepper over his face. He woke up screaming that his eyes were burning... I felt pretty bad about that one.

In Alaska I climbed a large tree that had fallen but was leaning on another tree. About twelve feet up, I fell off the side and hung myself by my sweater. Eventually the button popped and I fell. Apart from a few scratches on my back I was okay. I was about twelve and I didn't tell my mom until last year.

On the vacant lot next door there was a locked shed. My friend Josh propped up a narrow board and we made a game of trying to shimmy up the board onto the roof. Josh got up there first. He stood in the middle of the roof and shouted "I'm the king of the world!" and directly fell through. But only half-way. He screamed like a little girl asking us to get help. We ran over to my parents' and asked them to get help but they totally blew us off.
'If it's not my kid, and it's not my yard, it's not my problem' is pretty much how they treated it. When we got back Josh was still stuck and still screaming his head off. I was freaked out and crying. Josh fell through a few seconds later and unlocked the shed from the inside.
It became our private little fort for the next year until one of our idiot friends pooped in it because he didn't think he could make it to the bathroom.

Said By Jenocide

On the vacant lot next door there was a locked shed. My friend Josh propped up a narrow board and we made a game of trying to shimmy up the board onto the roof. Josh got up there first. He stood in the middle of the roof and shouted "I'm the king of the world!" and directly fell through. But only half-way. He screamed like a little girl asking us to get help. We ran over to my parents' and asked them to get help but they totally blew us off.
'If it's not my kid, and it's not my yard, it's not my problem' is pretty much how they treated it. When we got back Josh was still stuck and still screaming his head off. I was freaked out and crying. Josh fell through a few seconds later and unlocked the shed from the inside.
It became our private little fort for the next year until one of our idiot friends pooped in it because he didn't think he could make it to the bathroom.

Now THAT'S funny.

Remember that game "barrel of monkeys" ? I was a bit of a firebug when I was young and I set fire to all the plastic monkeys. They all melted together in a sticky pile.
The game was easy after that

... you were a demented child.

Most of my stupid hijinks when I was a kid (a little kid. I'm paranoid as all get out, I don't do things that could end in injury) was done with my siblings, as a group. I feel sorry for my mother, having to keep track for three small children who worked as a group XD

Once, when our mother had to run out and get the laundry, we were left alone in the house (for 5 minutes). We decided 'Let's order pizza' and proceeded to call the operator (back when there was one) and order pizza while laughing out heads out. The operator got agitated and yelled at us saying "Put your mother on the phone!". We panicked, thinking we'd get in trouble, and chucked the phone across the room. At that moment, the phone started ringing (it would later transpire that this was my aunt, calling to talk to my mother) and there was a knock at the door (my mother), we'd locked it for protection. We freaked out "It's the fake lady!!!"(the operator) and ran up stairs to hide from the evil fake lady. Eventually my sister looked out the window and saw it was my mother and all was well. Needless to say, though, we my mother had to drag us with her to the laundry room after that.

I also recall a time my mother left us in the car for a minute (literally) back when that was not illegal, to run a check into some sort of office. My brother (yes, Jaego) lept into the driver seat, shouted "I'm a mad bag lady!" and knocked the car in neutral and set us slowly rolling down the hill. Of course, even at that young age (6, I think), I wasn't about the die due to my brother so I jumped out of the car and left the rest of them to roll down the hill =D My mother came running seconds later though, so nobody had to die.

I broke my forehead open when I tripped while jumping on the bed and needed to get stitches. Good times...

My siblings, cousins, and I used to follow around random people in my grandmother's apartment complex pretending to be spies. I wonder how all those people liked being followed by 6 young children...

I once catalyzed a mini 'war' in my elementary school by getting into a fight with some boys, getting smashed into the ground and having to go to the nurse, only to come back minutes later to find half the school fighting in the yard. Fun =D

I once over cooked some popcorn and filled my aunts house with smoke.

I ate pretty much anything when I was little. Paint, bits of metal, pencils, erasers, pieces of my shirt, my hair, everything. I don't know why.

When I was 8 or so my siblings, cousins, and I drew up a 'book' then went out to the sidewalk and jumped around screaming at cars until a women pulled over and asked if we were alright. We said "Yes, would you like to buy our book?" she then told us not to jump around screaming because people would think there was an emergency.

I'm sure there's more, although I'm not that interesting of a person XD I'll come back if I can think of anything.

I swan dived off a picnic table.

It hurt like hell.

When I was about two or three we lived on a mountainside in California. I put the car into neutral and it started to roll toward the cliff. Also, I had locked the doors.

My dad ran to the front of the car to try and slow it down before it went over the cliff and my mom and sister tried to get me to unlock the doors. I was in a panic. They'd tell me to unlock the doors by pressing the unlock button but I'd press it twice each time, so I was unlocking it and relocking it.

Obviously, I came out alright and so did the car. I had nightmares about it for YEARS.

One of my older friend and I were trying to break rocks open to see if there were geodes in them...

My friend decided to throw the rock at an angle that wouldn't break the rock, but bounce off the ground... into my face!

Luckily, I was wearing glasses at the time and it was a good thing. My eye would have been destroyed if it didn't absorb the impact.

Said By FroogleDoop

... you were a demented child.

Pot. Kettle.

Okay, tonight I have a new thing to add.

My friend James and I went sledding tonight, if you want to call it that.

We have the sort of friendship where I suggest spontaneous things, and he makes me go through with them. I have a cayac (sp?).

We CARRIED it a mile to the local highschool, and went down a lot of hills. I'm going to post pictures sometime tonight or tomorrow. I am soaked and dirty right now.

I remembered another one...

When I was thirteen we were at the grocery store and we saw some vinegar on the shelf and my dad said quietly to my mother: "You know that old fashioned douches used vinegar?"
Puzzled, I asked. "What's a douche?"
My father quickly shook his head. "It's nothing." My mom laughed quietly.
"No really, Dad. What's a douche?" And he kept refusing to tell me and I kept demanding to know what it was louder, and louder.
My dad was hella embarassed and when he finally broke down and told me (after this woman gasped loudly at us) so was I.

My friends and i lit many axe cans on fire until they blew up, but one stands out. The jumbo can, it blew up straight up lit a tree on fire and the boom set off a bunch of car alarms (his house in the middle of town). Amazingly we never got caught

Lit my friends shed on fire

played hockey with a tenis ball soaked in gas while lit on fire,and accidently hit my friend in the face with the hockey stick. After that the ball rolled into the gas that was left from where we poored it onto the ball and we had a huge gas fire. Which my other friend threw a blanket on and that lit on fire and it just got bigger (didnt get caught for that either)

We once lit a ride-on lawnmower on fire in the snow with gas. The cops came and we all left the fire going in the snow ran into the house while being spot lighted and our excuse was going to be "We were riding the lawnmower around when it blew up!" (meanwhile it was 3am and it was snowing still.) Amazingly, didnt get caught for that one either.

Stealing my moms car at 2am and driving a 20 minute drive to wendy's only to find wendy's closed.

Pissing off these DnD kids during a holloween when i was 12. They were dressed up as knights and had wooden swords, got my ass beat by wooden swords. Later that night i chased them a good half a mile with a paint ball gun (FUCKING OWNED!)

lighting many things in the woods on fire...

Staying with an ex girlfriend just for sex for 4 months longer then i should have.

Actually every holloween for the past 16 years pretty much has been somthing stupid.

Well im basically a pyromaniac and ...the story's still cotinue!